The Evolution of FriENDship by Destini B.

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You know how they say you meet your lifelong friends in college? Then, when we find friends that we click with instantly and think to ourselves, "This is it! My bestie, bridesmaid, my forever friend." Sometimes...IT’S TRUE! Other times, we forget that people grow, people change & people part ways.

In college, you come in as a horribly dressed, poor decision making, naïve freshman & you click with others JUST LIKE YOU! You work because you have common interests (i.e. We all like Ques, we all drink Hypnotiq because we're broke and we’re okay with it, we're all pretty content with getting in the car with strangers because we'll all fight together. IT WORKS!)

Our college years swiftly pass and some of our lives "seemingly" take off faster than others. Some of us take our time because we're content with life as it's going, BUT all of us are growing, and whether we want to accept it or not, we'll sometimes go in separate directions. That same friend that helped you plan your wedding freshman year may not be in your life once you finally become a fiancé. The same friend that you drank Hypnotiq with while running from Ques in the club may not want to party anymore. IT’S OKAY!

We get down on ourselves when we lose friends that we wanted to keep forever. We get upset because we've had quarrels and the dynamic of the relationship changed. Sometimes, we even point the finger at them for the changes they've made. Whether we want to believe it or not, that's okay. They've changed. They've outgrown you. They've started calling less and less. They don't reply to the messy texts that you used sit up for hours engaging in. They don't want to drink every night. Have you ever found yourself mad at your friend because "they changed"?  Well.... it's not them... it's you!

I’m not saying blame yourself, but maybe you've forgotten that life is an evolution. How often do we sit back and evaluate our lost friendships with a positive scope rather than what they've "done to us"? How often do we look at the poor habits that they've traded in for better ones, even without us there? How often do we say "I'm happy for them. They deserve it!" even though they got it without us being there?

We view lost friendships as enemies rather than leaves that have fallen from our branches. A leaf blossoms, adds beauty to the tree and when its life span has run its course, it falls to the ground. It served its purpose.

The shift of thinking helps us to be more positive when dealing with losses in our lives. Don't blame your friends for growing, maturing and excelling without you. It happens. Look at all you've learned from each other. Look at the memories, the laughs, and the long nights. Appreciate it & carry it in your heart. Let go of the burden of jealousy, envy, hate, guilt & negativity. We come and go. It happens! Be free in your spirit, right? Positive vibes only, right? Live it out, all or nothing!