What makes a love story? Is it love at first sight? Is it a friendship that turns into something more? Or is it that guy who texts you “good morning beautiful” every day, even though he rarely gets a response? As Dustin from the from The Friend Zone Podcast would say, “QTNAs: Questions that need answers or questions that niggas is asking.” If you’re reading this, you’re obviously going to get my opinion, but I want you think seriously to yourself about what makes a love story. Is there even a such thing to you?
This past weekend, I witnessed love up close and my heart is still full. My best friend in the entire world said “yes” to the love of her life, standing square in my living room, surrounded by friends and family. It was amazing! This was the perfect happy ending to a courtship and a perfect beginning to a marriage AND it happened to a person I believe to be most deserving. It made me consider my own relationships, expectations and views on love. My friend will probably kill me for telling this story, but I’m telling it anyway. (Don’t kill me friend!)
As a single woman and parent, who had been through a lot of heartache, my friend (We’ll call her Juliet) was serious when we talked about relationships. I distinctly remember her saying to me almost 2 years ago, “I’m not dating for a while. I need some time to get myself together and I don’t want to date for the sake of dating. I want something serious.” Me, being me, I joked it off and told her “Just be single and have fun, sis! Get your hoe-tation together!” Juliet did take my advice, (not the hoe-tation part) and just enjoyed herself, by herself.
There was a weekend shortly after, where I went out with some family and friends to celebrate a birthday. I ran into a friend I’d known from back home (We’ll call him…. you guessed it! Romeo.) I’d dated Romeo’s friend years ago and we hadn’t seen much of each other since back then. I was pleasantly surprised when Romeo asked about my bestie, Juliet, during our catch-up conversation. We all knew each other from years prior and I always thought he liked her, but he was more of a laidback guy, so it was subtle. I mentioned that Juliet was single and had recently relocated. I urged him to reach out to her. I told Juliet about running into Romeo and she instantly shut me down. “Girl…. no. He’s cool but I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him in years.” I urged her to give him a chance and see how it goes. End of conversation. I assumed that was the end of that.
A few months later, Juliet was doting over this “secret admirer” that she would tell us about on our weekly BFF call, but she wouldn’t divulge who the mystery man was. She finally told us it was Romeo and I almost fell out from excitement! Romeo is a great guy and I knew they’d really like each other. Long story short, they dated for a few months, moved in together, continued to build a solid relationship and a year and a half later, they’re engaged. Happily ever after, right? Yes, of course. But taking the leap of faith and stepping out of their comfort zones was key to arriving at that destination.
My original question was “what is a love story?” My answer is “nothing and everything at the same time.” Much like any story, a love story is the one you decide to write. It’s the adventure that you took even though your previous experiences made you not want to. It’s the road less traveled that you decided to take even though it wasn’t the one you initially wanted to take. It’s the thing you didn’t even know you needed until it showed up. As the Rolling Stones sang, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try some time, you might find that you get what you need.” No truer words have been spoken. We, especially women, spend a lot of time searching for love and validation. We get disappointed often when we don’t find that love within our norm, our perspectives and our standard of the men we want. It’s not until we let go and free fall outside of our wants, that we land right where we need to be. I hope to be this brave one day. I want a love story that’s just as good the 2nd time I read it, as it was the first time. You don’t just stumble upon that. It hits you when you weren’t even looking and sometimes, that requires taking the long way around. ♥️
Until next time, stay rolling and protect your magic….