What's Tea, Sis? Part One of the Self Series!

What’s Tea,

There I was, sitting in a meeting at work that was sure to take a few hours. I made myself a cup of tea to get me through and as I’m stirring the tea, I notice a message on the tea tag. “The purpose of life is to know yourself and love yourself and trust yourself and be yourself.” I read that and thought to myself, “WTF have I been doing this whole time?” I mean, it’s not like the message is some deep, heartfelt revelation, right? Don’t we all love ourselves? Yeah. We say it, but do we mean it? How far does that love go? Like, do I love myself enough to not inflict physical pain or harm on myself? Of course! What about spiritually though? How deep is that love? It’s deep y’all. Real deep. In this moment, I realized there are plenty of things I love about myself but many things that I don’t. Wait! Where did those things come from? Better yet, how do I master those things for my good?

Know yourself.

When Drake said “Y’all need to know yourself,” I felt that. To know yourself is the beginning of wisdom. No truer words have spoken, honestly. Who are you, sis? What makes you tick? Self knowledge breeds happiness, less inner conflict, self control, stronger resistance to outside pressure and better decision making skills. The kicker with self knowledge is that it goes so much deeper than just knowing your temperament or why you move the way you move. It’s an ongoing saga. What’s your purpose? Some people know right away, while some figure it out later, but we all have one. What do you stand for? We are all born into situations where we learn our values from an outside source, but as we grow into adults and start navigating life as individuals, we start to develop our own. If you’re anything like me, sometimes the values I was taught and the ones I’ve developed conflict. A huge part of me getting to know myself is choosing which ones work for me. I’m constantly asking myself “What kind of person do I want to be and how do I become her?”

Love yourself.

Man, listen. We all love ourselves to a certain degree, but this one really struck me. Based on some of the shit we do or put up with from others, it’s hard to say if we do or not. In my journey of self discovery, I learned that I didn’t love myself as much as I should. I was too busy trying to find someone to give me that love and I’ve failed miserably every time. From my parents down to my lover, it was a complete fail. I came across a video of Iyanla and Oprah talking and Iyanla said “How you treat yourself is how you treat God.” I clutched my pearls ON SIGHT! As problematic as sister Vanzant can be, she read me for filth in that moment. God made each of us in His image. We all have Him in us. We would like to think that serving God is all about going to church, treating others right and tithing, but it’s not. If we put everything and everyone ahead of taking care of ourselves first, we’ve put Him last. The same love you’re giving others, you deserve it too. Not from the ones you’re giving it to, but from yourself! We spend a lot of time begging people to love on us, when what we really need is to be loving on ourselves.

Trust yourself.

Girl…. I really struggle with this one. If we’re going to become all God wants us to be, we have to win the victory in our minds. We have to believe that we are the bee’s knees. We have to trust ourselves completely and in my experience, we often shoot our dreams out of the sky before they can even get off the ground. Self doubt has been a huge struggle for me. Self trust includes trusting our talents, our instincts, our intuition and our abilities. What makes us human is our ability to make choices. We can choose to believe in our natural abilities or we can choose to not, but why settle? In my own journey, I believe my ability to write can change the world. This blog can change the world. If I don’t believe it, neither will you. I believe I deserve a really good man, who adores me and treats me as such. So should you. I believe I have what it takes to be successful in every area of my life. So should you! There are things you believe and desires that you have, but maybe you’re not fully trusting your ability to achieve them. God didn’t give us that belief for kicks. It’s real. Trust it. Trust yourself! If you don't, no one else will.

Be yourself.


Be you. A mentor told me recently, “Stop trying to become and just be!” That was a word. This blog might go nowhere. This series may only reach 3 people. Guess what? So be it! I’m being me. If you know me, you know that I’m loud, I say what I want, I’m silly and sometimes really bossy. I’m a person you either love or hate and there’s usually no in between. I can be pretty awkward socially, but still be a social butterfly and life of the party at the same time. I’m slowly learning to accept myself as-is. I’m not going to do much changing and honestly, the world is only going to get one me, so I might as well enjoy it while I can. The same goes for you. There’s probably plenty of things you don’t like about yourself or that others might not like about you, but so TF what??? Who cares. You’re you. We aren’t getting another you. So be you.

This is life changing tea, huh? =)

Until next time, accept yourself and protect your magic...