Wonder Woman is a female superheroine from DC Comics. If you know a little bit about her story, you know she’s an Amazonian Princess, whose name was originally Princess Diana of Themyscira. Did you know that she had a sister? Her sister’s name was Nubia and (you guessed it!) she’s a black woman. Nubia and Diana were both created from clay, except Nubia was created from black clay (Diana was from white clay) and formed by the goddess Aphrodite. Nubia was stolen at birth by Mars, God of War, and trained as a master of combat. Her introduction to comic readers was during a battle where she challenged Wonder Woman and won. She is the ultimate superhuman, possessing enhanced super strength, intelligence and healing. She can glide on air, time travel and break steel and concrete with her bare hands. She even rules an island comprised of all men. Basically, sis is a bad b****, but I’m not surprised. I mean…. she was groomed from birth to be an unstoppable force. Sound familiar?
Personally, 2018 has been a trying year for me. I’ve had a lot of peaks and valleys (mostly valleys), but I’ve worked really hard to push myself forward. Did I mention I’ve been doing all of this WITHOUT antidepressants? Yeah. That part. It has not been easy at all. I’ve had moments where I thought I’d self-destruct, hard trials in my relationship, family drama, and finance issues. Along with all of this, I’ve felt alone. All of my closest friends and family are at least an hour or more away from me, so I’ve spent a great deal of time isolated in between visits. Because of these experiences, I value sisterhood and sister time more now than ever. This past weekend was the breath of fresh air that quite possibly saved my life and a prime example of why having a strong sister circle is so important.
Last week was filled with debilitating depression, anxiety, and moodiness. I was literally a walking train wreck all week. I cried, I didn’t eat, and I suffered silently (outside of a few friends that I would call when I became overwhelmed and my therapist.) Since I got my monthly visitor half way through the week, I can look back and say that PMS is no joke, especially when mixed with GAD. The light at the end of my dark week was that I had plans to spend some time with a few of the ladies in my life.
Friday night, I went to Art on the Rocks at the Birmingham Museum of Art with two of my newer girlfriends, Bre & J Marie. I met these girls through mutual friends and we’ve hit it off ever since. Hanging out with these two is always a good time, in part because we’re all single, child-less and hustlers in our respective areas of work. This event is perfect for dressing up and mingling with young art lovers. It’s definitely a vibe, so I was grateful for the opportunity to hang out with them and just be cute for the first time all week. We ate heavy hors d'oeuvres, had cocktails and listened to performers including Love Moor and Tank and the Bangas. We laughed with new acquaintances and caught up with old friends that we’d run into. We explored the art exhibits and discussed them (and took selfies!) It was just a good ass time. It was exactly what I needed, too. At the end of the night, I didn’t want to go home. I was happy to be out of my funk, even if it was just for a moment.
Saturday, I drove to Atlanta and had a sleep over with my cousin April and her best friends. It was a girls’ night celebration of Erica’s and Ashley’s birthdays and we had plenty of good ol’ black girl fun planned. I’m usually the resident chef when we get together, so I cooked all our favorite party foods to go with our beverages. Drinks ranged from wine to tequila and moonshine. We ate, told stories, and danced around to City Girls. We even did karaoke to Beyoncé songs, ate cake and watched a Netflix movie complete with horrible acting and some male eye candy. We talked to each other, caught each other up on what was going on in our lives currently and motivated each other to do better and chase our dreams. Some of us have known each other for years and some of us were just meeting for the first time that night, but it was reminiscent of when my cousins’ and I were young girls and we’d get to spend the night at each other’s house. It was everything! It was sisterhood. It was exactly what I needed.
Sunday, on my drive home, I reflected over my week and it dawned on me that making time for the sisterhood is as important as every other aspect of my life. This is truer now than ever. Sisterhood is important because it’s a safe space (at least it should be). Having a group of women that vary in age, interest and experience opens the door for understanding. We share our thoughts, experiences and feelings. We give advice and encouragement. We heal. It’s empowering, especially when your sisterhood is comprised of superwomen. Mothers, daughters, sisters, girlfriends, fiancés, wives entrepreneurs, corporate divas and all around go-getters make up this group. Each one of us is at a different stage or dealing with a different situation and yet we’re so similar. It’s the power of the black woman. I thought to myself, “I’m fortunate enough to be a part of several sister circles, so why wouldn’t I use that to my advantage?” When you get older and you start to go through the different trials and tribulation that come with being a grown woman, it can be hard to remember that you, just like Nubia, have been groomed for greatness.
I identify with Nubia’s story because I was raised by my grandfather from birth to adulthood, taught to work tirelessly, aim to be the best at everything I do, and groomed to be a leader inside and outside of the home. I was literally raised on the strength of being unstoppable. What a burden that is to bear. Sisterhood allows us a safe place to lay down that burden. It gives us the room we need to be able to take a breather and recharge. It’s especially important as women of color to depend more on each other for the things we need because, if nothing else, we have an understanding of each other that no other group of women on earth could ever understand. Sisterhood strengthens our most important gift: intuition. I’m glad I could find a renewed sense of self this past weekend by simply allowing myself to be with the girls.
If you get time in the coming weeks, set aside some time for sisterly relations. Schedule a catch-up conference call, a girls’ night in/out, happy hour, mani/pedi session, or a trip. Do something with your girls and allow yourself the space to be around women who want the best for you. That’s how black girl magic is grown. Go fill your cup, sis.
Stay superhuman and protect your magic……